A Kinder Way to Think About New Year’s Resolutions

As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Eat better. Exercise more. Save money. Lose weight.

The idea of a fresh start can feel hopeful. But for many people, resolutions can also bring pressure — and all too often, disappointment. By February, it’s common to feel like we’ve already fallen short.

The new year doesn’t have to be about drastic change or self-criticism, though. Instead, it can be an opportunity to reset expectations and focus on what truly supports our emotional well-being.

Why Resolutions Can Feel So Hard

Traditional resolutions often ask too much, too fast. They tend to focus on big outcomes rather than realistic steps, leaving little room for the ups and downs of everyday life.

When goals feel unattainable, frustration, guilt, or a sense of failure can follow — feelings that may be especially difficult for people living with depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. Stress and negative self-talk can interfere with motivation and make change harder to sustain.

“Change doesn’t happen overnight,” says Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., President & CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation. “Our brains are shaped by experience over time. When we set goals that are too rigid or unrealistic, we may be setting ourselves up for unnecessary stress.”

A Healthier Way to Approach the New Year

Mental health experts often encourage a gentler, more flexible approach to the new year — one that works with the brain, not against it.

Here are a few ways to rethink resolutions:

Focus on one or two priorities.
Rather than making a long list of resolutions, choose one or two areas you want to work on. Fewer goals can make change feel more manageable and achievable.

Aim for progress, not perfection.
Change rarely follows a straight line. Small steps forward — even with occasional setbacks — still count.

Start small and keep it doable.
The brain responds better to consistency than intensity. Modest changes, such as taking a short daily walk or setting aside a few minutes to unwind, can add up over time.

Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Setbacks are part of change, not a sign of failure. Self-compassion has been shown to strengthen resilience and make it easier to keep going.

Knowing When to Ask for Help

For some people, the new year can bring heightened awareness of ongoing challenges with mood, anxiety, or stress. If difficult feelings persist or begin to interfere with daily life, reaching out to a mental health professional can make a meaningful difference.

“There are effective treatments and supports available,” Dr. Borenstein notes. “Seeking help is not a failure — it’s an important step toward understanding what’s happening in the brain and finding the right path forward.”

Moving Into the New Year with Compassion and Hope

The start of a new year doesn’t require becoming a different person. It’s simply an opportunity to check in with yourself, set realistic intentions, and take small steps that support your well-being — one day at a time.