Finding Connection and Calm During the Holidays

The holiday season brings gatherings, traditions, and celebration — but it can also amplify feelings of stress and loneliness. For many, the season can stir up painful memories, financial pressures, or reminders of loss. Even joyful events can feel overwhelming when schedules are packed and expectations are high.

“People can take practical steps to dial down their stress and anxiety leading up to and during the holidays,” says Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., President and CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation and a Manhattan-based psychiatrist. “With a little planning and some positive actions, you can find ways to enjoy the holidays — even if it’s been a difficult time for you in the past.”

Acknowledge What You Feel

If you’ve lost someone or can’t be with loved ones, it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. “You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season,” Dr. Borenstein explains. “Allow yourself to express your emotions — it’s part of healing.”

Reach Out — You’re Not Alone

Loneliness is common this time of year. Make an effort to connect with trusted friends or participate in community or faith-based gatherings. Volunteering is another powerful way to lift your spirits — helping others creates connection and purpose.

Protect Your Well-Being

A few intentional steps can go a long way:

• Take breaks. Step outside, breathe deeply, or spend a few quiet minutes doing something you enjoy.
• Move your body. Exercise releases natural chemicals that elevate mood and ease tension. Even a short walk can help you reset.
• Stick with healthy habits. Get enough sleep, eat balanced meals, and drink water. Try not to overindulge in alcohol, which can worsen stress and depression.

Manage Expectations

The holidays don’t have to be perfect — or just like they used to be. Traditions can change and still be meaningful. Choose the ones that matter most and let go of what feels forced or stressful. If you can’t be together in person, connect by phone, video call, or sharing photos and memories online.

Set Realistic Boundaries

It’s okay to say no. Overcommitting can lead to resentment and burnout. “Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every activity,” Dr. Borenstein notes. Prioritize what brings you peace — not what adds pressure.

Find Meaning in Simplicity

Sometimes the most memorable moments are the quiet ones — listening to music, watching the stars, or reading a good book. Give yourself permission to slow down. The goal isn’t to make the holidays perfect, but to make them peaceful.

Seek Help if You Need It

“If sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness persist, reach out to a mental health professional. Do not suffer in silence, seek help,” says Dr. Borenstein. “Effective treatments and support are available.”