Caught In-Between: Mental Health Tips for the Sandwich Generation

For millions of Americans, life feels like a delicate balancing act—caring for children while simultaneously tending to aging parents. Dubbed the “Sandwich Generation,” these individuals often find themselves pulled in multiple directions, managing homework help and soccer practices alongside doctor appointments and elder care arrangements. Add job responsibilities to the mix, and life can quickly feel overwhelming.

“The demands of caring for children and elderly parents at the same time can be overwhelming, but it’s important to also take care of yourself,” says Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., Manhattan-based psychiatrist and President & CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation (BBRF). “If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to care for your loved ones.”

Here are five practical mental health tips to help those navigating this unique stage of life:

1. Communicate Early with Your Parents
Initiating open conversations with your parents about their home life, health, and financial situation can reduce future stress. Address these topics before urgent care is required to create a clear action plan and identify helpful resources together.

2. Share Responsibilities
The caregiving burden often falls disproportionately on one family member, typically due to proximity or long-standing family roles. To ease this load, have honest discussions with siblings or other relatives to divide responsibilities. For example, one person might handle financial tasks while another assists with medical appointments.

3. Have an Emergency Plan
Emergencies are inevitable as parents age. Preparing a list of reliable friends, neighbors, or local resources who can help in a pinch can alleviate last-minute stress. This ensures you’re not left scrambling when an urgent situation coincides with other obligations, such as taking your child to a school event.

4. Explain to Your Children
Depending on their age, involve your children in discussions about family responsibilities. Explain why some of their requests may need to be postponed and reinforce the importance of prioritizing others’ needs. For instance, saying, “I can’t drive you today because Grandma has a critical doctor’s appointment, but we can plan for tomorrow,” fosters understanding.

5. Prioritize Self-Care
Maintaining your well-being is crucial. Eat healthily, exercise, and keep your own medical appointments. Schedule regular mental health breaks—even a few minutes of quiet reflection daily can make a difference. If feelings of stress and anxiety persist, seek professional mental health support.

With thoughtful planning, shared responsibilities, and self-care, the Sandwich Generation can better navigate this challenging yet rewarding phase of life.